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Koyasan | Deuter
New Earth Records Blog
NOVEMBER 2008
What the ‘Happiness’ Gurus Don’t Tell You
By Anando
The mind can never be happy.
‘Happiness’ is in fashion. There is a new Science of Happiness, and plenty of people are giving (actually, usually they are selling) all kinds of good advice about bringing more happiness into your life. Simple suggestions like smile more, do good deeds, say kind things to people….
Sounds easy. So why aren’t people becoming more happy? I suspect it is because most of the advice ignores a vital factor: it is impossible for the mind to be happy!
Did you just do a double-take? Well it’s true - the mind can never be happy. As the Indian mystic Osho says, the mind is always desiring – that is its nature. And once it gets what it had been desiring, it looks for the next object of desire. “The mind can never be happy with what it has, it is always striving after that which it doesn’t have, or cannot have. The mind can exist only with a goal, because it needs a way to remain tense. If it has a goal, then it can remain unfulfilled, frustrated, and living in hope.”
Do you recognize that from your life? And the problem is intensified because we are identified with our minds: we think we are our thoughts, no? So then as long as we are ruled by our minds, we will always be in misery and frustration, always chasing after some desire. Even the desire to be happy or peaceful is a goal in the mind.
The problem with all the good advice about how to be happy is that it doesn't take into account the fact that the mind is in the way, advice feeds our goal-oriented minds - it asks you to 'do' things, as a practice, as a special effort, in order to achieve a result (happiness), it then calculates that if we follow this advice, then we will be happy. It is a kind of bargain/deal. There is a motive in our actions. And that does not bring happiness.
This is why, no matter how much you smile and say to people ‘Have a nice day,' you don’t actually change your basic happiness (or unhappiness). You may feel good for a little while, but the glow disappears the moment some arsehole rubs up you the wrong way, or even just cuts in front of you at the traffic lights. Doesn’t it?
Pleasure is not happiness.
The mind can be pleased, even excited, but these are temporary states, dependant on something outside us. For example, we get pleasure from a new lover, a new car, a new electronic gadget, clothing or a new house, it lasts only as long as the mind continues to remain excited about it. Pleasure is triggered by a thing or a person, and as far as our 'love' is concerned, If someone loves us, we are happy, when they don't love us any more, what happens to that happiness?
Isn’t it amazing how fast we take things for granted – even our friends. And as far as our ‘love’ is concerned, it is also very dependant on something outside of us: If someone loves us, we are happy. But when they don’t love us any more, what happens to that happiness?
So, pleasure is dependant on something external – sex, money, the things money can buy, or people being a certain way. And it exists in the mind. Happiness is altogether different from pleasure. Happiness is something that is not dependant on anything outside being a certain way - it has no conditions. It is a state of being that comes from inside you. As Osho says, "Happiness is when there is no desire for something, just a gratitude for what is. Then it is not a temporary state, because as long as you have gratitude, you have happiness."
To understand the difference between happiness & pleasure, remember a moment when you got a new gadget / dress / computer / shoes / car - something you had been desiring. See if you can remember that feeling again, that same excitement, and notice what triggers it. It is triggered by thoughts, isn't it? All that internal dialogue about that new object -can you feel how that triggers your excitement? And just notice if it is easy, to feel exactly that same excitement again right now. Can you? And something else - do you remember how long that excitement lasted?
Now remember a moment when you showed a little love to someone without expecting something in return. It might have been a simple thing like helping an elderly person cross the road, or letting someone go ahead of you who seemed to be in a hurry, or stopping to say hello to a small baby, or just smiling at a stranger who looked unhappy. As you remember that moment again, notice where in the body you feel it. Do you notice a kind of contentment in your chest - around the area of your heart?
And finally, remember a moment not involving anyone, when you just felt happy or peaceful for no reason... perhaps walking in nature, seeing a beautiful sunset or feeling the wind on your face or the grass under your feet... Or maybe just lying down on your bed one night after a long day. How easy is it to recall that feeling again? And what is that feeling? Where do you feel that in your body?
Out of the three situations, which feeling was easier to recall? Hopefully you noticed that it was either the second or the third. And hopefully you also noticed that those feelings were not in your head, but around the area of your heart. Why were those feelings easier to recall in your body? It is because they arose from inside you, they were not provoked in you by anyone or anything else. And you might also notice that those moments when you felt happy or peaceful arose when you were not expecting anything. You had no particular desire for anything. Do you see that?
This is the difference between happiness and pleasure. We feel happiness in the heart, and pleasure in the mind. The things that give us pleasure activate the mind, and that is a temporary state. The feelings that well up from within us are not temporary - you can recall them whenever you want, right, just by accessing that space again.
In the next couple of blogs I am going to write about the four keys Osho gives to rekindle the natural state of happiness in you. But first, there is another important point to be aware of:
Happiness is a natural state, so why are our minds so attached to misery?
Why is it that the mind can never be happy, can never be contented? Why do our minds always choose to see the bad rather than the good? Why do we let one criticism affect us rather than nine positive comments?
It is because our ego is stronger when we are miserable. Think about it... when you are just easily flowing with life, when there are no big problems, when you are just happy for no reason, then your sense of 'I' as a separate individual is not very great. Remember back to one of those heart moments mentioned above and see if you can notice that.
But when we are having big problems, when we are suffering, then our sense of 'I' is very strong. Remember back to such a situation, and notice the difference. Do you see that you feel more important when you are miserable? That sense of importance is your ego! And because our ego is strengthened when we are suffering, it is of course very attached to misery. Our problems give us our identity in a way. Who would you be without your problems? Think about it...
And on top of all that, we carry in our unconscious a whole bunch of conditioned ideas that it is not OK to be happy - people are suffering all around us, we see it every day on the TV and the internet. Our parents are not happy, and out of a kind of unconscious loyalty we feel it is therefore not OK for us to be happy. Or we may have the unconscious idea that if we are happy now we will pay for it later.
So being happy, resting easy with contentment, is not something natural and easy for the mind. After all, it has nothing to do when you are happy, does it? So be clear, THE MIND DOES NOT LIKE TO BE HAPPY.
How to be more in contact with your heart - the source of your happiness.
The easiest way to connect to your heart is to use music which has been written from the heart. I suggest Reiki Hands of Light, Buddha Garden, Feng Shui, and De Profundis: Out of the Depths II. Put the music on and then make sure you are comfortable, sitting or lying, and move your attention to the very center of your chest, between your armpits. That's where your energetic heart is, as distinct from your physical heart. To help you have your awareness there, you can put a hand there, and you can also feel that your breathing is touching that place from the inside. Nothing special to do, just breathing gently and easily.
If you like you can imagine that your heart has two big ears attached to it, and that the music is entering directly into your heart. Take your time. Your mind will keep trying to pull your attention somewhere else, giving you all kinds of other things to think about. When you notice that, just keep bringing your attention back to the center of your chest. This is very boring for the mind, and after some time and practice it will get so bored it will give up.
The knack is to do nothing! Just give yourself permission to relax and enjoy listening to the music for twenty to thirty minutes (or however long you can manage). And feel the peaceful state beginning to build up in the center of your chest.
Coming next time: the first of the four keys to happiness from Osho.
If you start becoming aware of these things in your day to day life, and start practicing moving from your mind to your heart, then in the next blog I will explain the first of four keys Osho gives to bring happiness and joy permanently into our lives, despite our minds. That is because they activate our heart center instead!
Anando is one of the ASHA Foundation (UK) list of 240 'influential, inspiring women from all walks of life and from around the world who are outstanding in their fields.' She was a successful lawyer (USA & Australia) and businesswoman who headed to India in the mid-seventies for a 2-week visit to the infamous ashram of Osho. She stayed for thirty years, becoming part of Osho's personal household.
She now travels the world, teaching meditation and other techniques for transforming your life. Her book 'YES' is available through her Web site: www.lifetrainings.com
Comments on this blog are welcome, as well as ideas, inspirations, and feedback on albums and artists... please email us at office@newearthrecords.com !
